Updated: Jun 17
Here is the Love/Fear Map about emotions that even a kid could learn! I wrote this blog article to improve my Emotional Literacy which in turn can hopefully improve yours.
All emotions come from either Love or Fear.
Fear is expressed through SAD(internal) and MAD(external) emotions
When feeling SAD or BAD, the fear affects our personal identity and self esteem and that manifests into shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, resignation, self consciousness etc.
When MAD or angry, that means a personal value is being violated.The fear comes from not getting something that you value - which could be respect, belonging, love, safety, acknowledgement etc.
Love is expressed through RAD(internal) and GLAD(external) emotions
To gain courage and personal power, it must come from self love or love from within and this is what I call feeling RAD.
Once the internal love is found, it can be expressed and shared with others in the form of Good Energy and feeling GLAD.
How does anger(MAD) come from fear? Anger is a secondary emotion and almost always comes from an underlying fear.
For example, I was very angry when I learned someone was spreading lies about me. My reaction quickly turned to anger, but the underlying fears were this: What if people believe those lies? What if people's respect for me goes down because of those lies?
My values that were being violated was this:
I value truth and especially when it comes to my character.
I value the respect I have from people. I don't want that to diminish.
After identifying these fears, they can be seen as valid or invalid. If I decide my fears are valid - my anger will increase. If I decide those fears on not valid, I can let go of my anger.
To summarize, whenever you feel anger coming up, ask yourself these two questions:
What is the underlying fear that is causing this anger?
Which values of mine are being violated?
Naming Your Emotion
Naming your emotions is the first step in gaining control of them. Once you name it, you can decide what you want to do with it.
Here is a list of emotions that are used in our everyday language. I didn't include words like irascible or cantankerous since they are not very common. Perhaps cranky comes from cantankerous, which I did include. This list can evolve since our ways of expressing emotions change throughout the years.